one of these days: http://t.co/7yT1RLbn

Working in TV = trying to make a show better than Ow, My Balls from Idiocracy while people ask you to make Ow, My Balls over and over again

What I’ve learned from watching the Emmys, the season finale of Louie, the roast of Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen on Leno, 2 Broke Girls, 2 and a Half Men, Dancing with the Stars, The Playboy Club, WWE Wrestling, the Republican National Debate:

You can’t say midget or Down’s Syndrome on TV.

You can say “I want to show you my pussy” on cable television. You can make fun of someone’s friend for dying or make fun of a cherished American hero for having Parkinson’s disease. You can receive a…

maria bello and william h. macy are both people i’m pretty sure i’ve seen naked 3-4 times in movies #emmys

it’s a 0 on google reader kind of day! (this might happen a lot for some ppl but it happens approx once every 6 months for me)

RT @mrseanpatton: If you’re talking about stand up in public and strangers walking by give you odd looks, it’s because you’re saying “ki …

come on Irene. oh i swear on my knees. at this moment… you’re ruining my vacation #badhurricanepuns #butseriouslythissucks

RT @maxsilvestri: The aftershocks of the Pinkett Smith disaster are finally being felt in NYC.

From an e-mail I sent to my high school friends:

Apparently, my entire building shook (I was on the 33rd floor) but I was on a conference call and did not notice at all. When I got off (the call, not from earthquake-induced orgasm), I called Jake to see if he wanted to get lunch and he was like “Are you calling about the earthquake?” at which point I looked around and noticed that literally everyone from my floor was gone. I went downstairs and everyone on my floor had been evacauted and…

New blog post: http://t.co/NYIMp8H MTV salutes videos with a message (as opposed to all those dada-ist songs with no meaning).